Dreams.

W: I opened my eyes and saw chaos. People when put hot water turns into wax. Until, I’ve truly woken up. And it’s just a play we’re doing. You were one of the people at the audience. Staring intently at me. Me, wearing a white silk gown, with long hair and light makeup.

M: As I watch you move. So beautifully in the play, I saw glimpses of our future. But I am terrified that you won’t see me here in the dark. Longing to be with you. To feel your touch. To feel your lips. And to passionately kiss you. Tomorrow will be my last day here at the University. I said to myself, I must let you know of my feelings for you.

W: As the play is ending, I am reminded that tomorrow is your last day. I must let you know of my feelings for you.

M: As I enter the backstage, looking at you. I felt this rush in my heart wanting our future together to start soon.

W: As I saw you enter the backstage, with papers in hand, longing eyes and a beautiful face I pray to God to give me to you.

M: With looking in your eyes, reflecting mine gave me the courage. Then a moment came, when I suddenly bumped into you and my hands just reached out and embrace you with all my might.

W: I was drawn to you. And as you reach your hands to mine and hold me tight my lungs gave out a gasp.

M: I knew that you knew we’ve met in our dreams. That this moment, was a time in the physical world for us to meet. I gave you the papers I held in my hand.

W: As I look at the papers you gave me, I saw images from what I saw from my dreams. Dreams that I thought will never come true. But then, you found me.

M: Tears were running down your face. Suddenly three words came out from your mouth that I never knew I would hear from you.

W: I whispered to you “I love you”. From the moment, you appeared in my dreams to this moment that you are in my arms. I couldn’t say more than this.

M: “I love you”, I said back. Because those were the only feelings coursing through my heart – to my veins – to my entire body.

W: But then I remembered, you are to graduate tomorrow. How will I be with you? How can we start this adventure with you?

M: As more tears burst into your eyes, I suddenly remember that it is my last day tomorrow. How will I be with you? I want to start this adventure with you.

W: “Will you come tomorrow?” I ask.

M: “Yes.” I responded. Then he got up to leave and get ready for tomorrow. As I excitedly went home and ready for what will happen tomorrow.

 

W: I came. Silently, excitedly waiting for him to come.

Moments has passed. The sun is now on a high. The heat damaging my hair.

My eyes are filled my tears. As hours went by…

 

Then it stopped, I hear a shout.

 

M: I ran to her, I ran with all my might! I ran to finally reach her. To finally be with her.

 

W: And then I saw him, running. His embraced catching everything that I am.

 

M: I stopped embracing her, and then went down to one knee asking her, “Will you marry me?”.

 

W: “YES.” I said. If I can just shout this to everyone. To the whole world. That finally he is with me. He is mine. And I am his.

 

The end.

 

“A subtle try in creating short stories from the dreams I had.”

#Dreams #2017

 

 

 

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Us… The so-called-IT professionals.

It was year 2005, when I was in fourth year highschool. We have been deciding what we want to take in college. I was confused. I wanted so many things to learn. So many schools I want to tryout. But, so many factors needed to think about. Back then, with my 15 year old brain I was at a dilemma. Since it was normal for schools to held career orientations that’s when I first heard the word IT (also known as Information Technology). I was curious. And so I asked, good thing one of my Uncles is a Computer Science graduate. So my heart was set out to be an IT professional. My ultimate dream… is to be an IT Manager.

So there I was taking up tests and applying for the IT department. The first school I went to, I was not accepted. Due to my lack of confidence to pursue it. I ended up taking Management. But my heart, screams  IT! And so I transferred. Though I had to go back to first year I didn’t mind. Cause for me, I had a chance to re-do my college years and make the best out of it. And I also get to re-do those grades that was not so good. And after four stressful years, I graduated as an IT.

As I was looking for a job, all I could think about is starting in this industry. Thus, my first job as a programmer for mobile applications. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t research anything about it. Not like what most people do during that time. I was just there to know more about this industry. I wasn’t prepared for all of it. I wasn’t informed it was so hard to be in a real world and my chosen industry. So I had to resign. I didn’t want to but I had to. I needed to be more ready.

Then came my second job, as an IT Instructor to 1st and 2nd year students. Boy was it fun! Waking up and teaching this young ones on how to create tables, understand functions and create something from codes. It was a dream come true. It was hard, but I re-learned everything again. But then, what can a small paying job do for someone who has a large family? I needed to learn again. I needed to choose. Between my love for teaching, or my career or my family. Which is more important? Do I really want to do this for me? or because society dictates it?

Then I land to my first ever corporate job. It was not as fancy as the other jobs in the IT industry but it was my stepping stone. It was what opened my eyes to what Makati, and corporate world is. And frankly, it was brutal. For my two months in that e-commerce company. I learned:

  1. How to commute (I was not good at this at all)
  2. That most bus drivers think that they are driving sedans or SUV’s.
  3. There are a lot of cars in Manila
  4. The extent of the pollution in our country
  5. If you don’t wake up early, you’ll be late.

I also learned, that anything can happen. In my two months there, I thought that I was conquering all my fears. But the worst thing happened. The company unfortunately had to close. It was a start-up company operating for a year that time. A lot were laid off, one of it was me. It was totally heart breaking. I never once thought that this can happened to me. In the span of 2 years in the workforce and a lot has changed. Worst part is I didn’t find a job right after that. I was a bum, and tried my luck as a drummer in my all-girls band.

For five months, I tried and tried to find work in the IT industry but none was responding. There were call centers here and there. But my heart was not set on it. My heart was set out to be a full-blown IT professional. So I waited. I did patiently waited and prayed to God. I learned that through thick and thin He will be there. And most of all, He listens. Sometimes, we thought that He doesn’t. But I believe He has this big book of records just writing all of our requests. I needed to be still, I needed to learn. I needed to trust God.

And so came year 2014, I declared that I will have a job on the first month. I was nervous, but I was also excited. To be able to go back to the workforce after 5 months was truly unbearable. True enough, God really listens to prayers. I had 3 interviews on the first month alone and 2 job offers. I took the one who offered my dream job.

I was ecstatic. So excited to finally start to do the things I imagined myself doing in the industry during my college years. On the first year of my job, I think I did a great job. A year after I was rewarded with a big raise and second raise months after that.  But during those months, it was gruesome. I literally shed tears, energy, blood (exaggerating) and sweat to learn all the things I’ve learned from this line of work. As I journeyed, I came to realize it was so hard to be in this kind of job. My summarization as what an IT professional is:

  1. You constantly have to think every moment of your life. Not just think but analyze all of the things you encounter. Including the things people says infront of you. Even if you don’t have to.
  2. Being in this business you have to be fast-paced, easy to adapt and easy to be taught. Cause there will always, always be someone way better and  younger than you .
  3. IT IS A HARD AND TOUGH JOB (cannot express it more).
  4. When you limit yourself into learning what you’re best at, you also limit yourself into learning more about the industry. Hence, you get stuck at what you do best only. For some this is good, for others who can be too stubborn this is bad.
  5. And lastly, it may be a HARD and TOUGH job, but it’s one of the most fulfilling job ever. If we are able to give a solution software that can minimize or eliminate the problems of a company, it gives me so much joy and make me realize why I wanted this job in the first place.

I still have a lot to learn. As they say, “Madami pa akong bigas na kakainin.” But I am willing to learn more. There may be times that I want to give up. But, in my experience being in this industry is hard because of us, the people involved. From the project owners to the testers to the developers to the managers.

I do hope and pray, that someday us from the IT industry can be united into solely helping all of the companies to have better systems. Being an IT professional, I believe we have the upper hand in THE business. May 23-year old nga na naghack ng COMELEC website e. Pero let’s put it to good use. Like the makers of Facebook, Google, Yahoo, Spotify, Uber, and so on. We have the power to change the world. Make it count.

Peace to all,

Aiah

To the Guy who broke my everything. And made me learn about real love.

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As I travel my way back home. Something flashed back in my mind because of the simple retort of my boyfriend. I was asking for him to say I love you but I didn’t hear it. So I told him to repeat it. He got pissed, because frankly, I do that all the time. For several weeks I’ve been sort of a brat and asking him of a little more effort in his end. But as I talk to my Pastor,it seemed that everything I’m whining about is just me. He ask me if what I’m feeling got to do with my parents’ relationship. And now, I realized everything. I was mad at the guy who broke my heart. And I never got to say it straight at him. 

To you who broke my everything, here’s want I want to say. 

I hate you. I hate everything that you did to me. I hate that you broke my heart. I hate that I didn’t take the chance to shout at you. To hit you in the face.  To spat everything that you did to me. To say bad words at you. And just be mad at you. 

Sadly, I didn’t. Sadly, I couldn’t. Not because I didn’t have a chance. But because I couldn’t. 

I couldn’t because though you broke me. Because of this chapter in our lives, I learned so much. I learned:

  1. How to love without expecting anything in return
  2. Sacrifice my own needs and wants for you.
  3. How to believe that there is good in people. 
  4. That love, above all things is the most important.
  5. How to call out to God.
  6. How to love my family more.
  7. That family are your first support. 
  8. That no matter how big your mistakes, your family will always accept you back. 
  9. Even if it was the worst feeling in the world, you can still forgive. 

I was so in love with you. I thought you were the one. Made myself believe that you were THE ONE. 

I can’t bring back that time anymore. I will never be able to bring back that time anymore. I will never be able to retrace my steps and take back everything. The “‘I wish that I could have done things differently” is an understatement. I wished that I could have a time machine and listened to God and to the people around me. I wished that my heart was not broken. I wished that I was not naive that time. 

I will never get back to that time. I will never be able to reverse my decisions that time. I WILL NEVER. And now, I will never be able to say this hate letter to you. Cause I know it won’t be necessary anymore. 

I am praying and hoping that this post is enough for me to really let this go. To not remember you anymore. And to not think about you anymore whenever my love now says things. I am really praying that though we broke each other hearts, may I learn to be brave enough to fight again for love. May I learn that his love is enough for me. May I learn, that I should be calm and go with the flow in our relationship. May I learn to be more confident in myself.

And to you, S. I let you go. Thank you for all the memories. May you be happy. 

Aiah

And the greatest of these is…. love.

Since I’m inspired by Maine’s blog update I’ll try to blog about this. So here it goes:

Valentines is this Sunday. And I am not a fan. Though, I keep on thinking what I should do for my beloved. We are in almost 22months now. And I have never been so happy and contented with this relationship. I had past relationships before (1 serious boyfriend and other flings). I am not exaggerating, but I never felt this way towards a person. We’re almost 2 years and my feelings are still similar when we were just a month into our relationship. First, let me describe my man and compare it to myself.

 

Him: he likes going out.

Me: I like being home.

Him: he’s super friendly.

Me: I’m super shy.

Him: he knows how to talk to people. And make them laugh.

Me: I don’t know how to make small talk.

Him: he loves to play computer games.

Me: I just play drums.

Him: he’s adventurous.

Me: I’m scared of heigths.

Him: he hasn’t watched a lot of movies or read books.

Me: reading and watching movies are one of my favorites pasttimes.

The list could go longer. But one thing is evident. We’re not alike. We love and do things so differently. We view the world in a different way. Even our upbringing. Its so different. Before, I thought people who knew their “The One’s”are not true. I always thought that in love, you have to be similar, you have to compatible. But all of these changed when I met my love.

Our differences was not a hindrance in our relationship. Its just teaches us more about each other and it helps us to be more mature in handling our relationship. We may have spats here in there. We may have flaws. We may fight petty things sometimes. But we always, alwasys choose to love. During this journey with him I have learned a lot. Let me share it to you:

  1. More than love, relationship is build on trust. You cannot be in a relationship if you do not trust.
  2. Love is patience (1 cor 13). Not just learning to be patient. But embodying and keeping patient. There will be times that I make him crazy when my hormones are acting up. But he has learned how t put  up with it.
  3. Compromise. I thought before compromise means sacrficing your happiness. It doesn’t. Compromise means loving what makes your partner happy and adjusting yourself for him. It must be, his happiness is your happiness.
  4. You learn unconditional love. This means that everything he feels, do, experience or learns you accept and support him. That no matter how ridiculous sometimes things are, you will be his number supporter.
  5. Last, happiness. You know you love the person when even if you’re 22 months in you still feel giddy everytime you see him. You don’t have to convince yourself that he exist. Cause you know he does. And he was made for you.

I may not be a good blogger. I may not know sll the right words to say tor express what I want to say. But I am truly truly grateful for my love. I thank God everyday for him. I thank God He has given me a partner who not only loves me but gives his all to me. I’ve waited for him for so long. Got multiple heartbreaks. But all of it was worth it.

So for all of you. He/She is just waiting for you to come. You just need to really pray hard. Learn to wait and learn to be ready to accept him/her. It pays to pray too. 🙂 God bless you!

 

#ALDUB29thWeeksary

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I couldn’t believe it.

Alden kissed Maine.

I’ve watched that part more than 20x.

Again, I couldn’t believe it.

I have waited for that to happen for so long. I’ve waited for Alden to do something out of the story. Waited for him to go out of his way to prove his affections towards her.

I wanted to a review. So I’ll do it, bit by bit.

 

(I’ve watched the upload from ALDUBPAMORE, credits to them <3)

28:06

Alden: Aldub you too

Maine: Aldub you

And then slowly, his hands takes her face and little by little puts his head to her head.

28:10

The truck ng basura came. And then…..

FREEZE.

28:15

And then more slowly, Alden puts his forehead to Maine’s forehead.

And they’re looking at each other’s eyes. Just staring. And smiling giddy with each other.

28:24

Lola Nidora looking all deathly.

28:29

Alden doing every effort to match his face to her. While laughing because of the freeze.

28:39

Both of them just looking into each other’s eyes. Alden’s dimple getting deeper. VP AK’s close up pictures. (Me: Aint you a saint VP!)

28:43

Alden: Malapit na e! (<3!!!!)

Maine: Oo nga e! (Me: errrk. died because of too much kilig -.-)

28:50

Alden gulping multiple times. (Me: You must’ve wanted to kiss her for real)

29:00

Them laughing but still forehead to forehead! (Me: what do you want to do with the whole AldubNation. You’re both gonna kill us early because of so much kileeeeeg)

29:16

Their eyes that speaks it all. The admiration, the care, the love! (Me: died again -.-)

29:19

Them playing with each other’s eyes. Us just the audience watching them. #TooMuchFeels

29:23

Maine: Lola malayo oh!

Alden: Lola malayo naman

29:26

Alden almost kissing Maine! (Me: ANO BA! JUST DUET!!)

Audience: AHHHHHHHH!!!

Us #TeamReplay: AHHHHHHH!!!

29:34

Maine just looking at Alden’s eyes. Alden just looking at her with that smile. Those smiles that says everything.

Alden’s naninigkit na mga mata (<3)

29:57

Alden’s gulping (<3<3<3<3<3<3<3)

30:14

Tito Sotto: Nagtitigan o nagtitigan (Me: Yes we can see Tito Sen! And its already killing us with so much kilig!!)

30:46

Alden teasing!! (WAG!:)) oh our hearts)

30:50

Maine teasing! (PLEASE!!:))))

30:54

Alden, pahid pawis sa noo. Alden pahid pawis sa noo ni Maine. (*gulp*)

31:16

Joey: Ano ba kayong dalawa. Just duet! (AldubNation: EXACTLY)

31:27

THE STOLEN KISS!

31:30

Playful habulan of AlDub.

Audience: AHHHHHHHH!

THE END.

So this is my epic attempt to show my deep appreciation on what I think of the last few seconds on Kalyeserye today. Grabe kayo samin Eat Bulaga. Grabe kayo AlDub.

 

On a different note. I just want to say thank you. Sobra. I’ve been feeling super down today because of my stress at work. And because part of my day is to watch the replay before going home, this show has lift my spirits up. I thank God everyday for the simple joys you bring. Not just to me but to those who are:

  1. Away living alone.
  2. Away living abroad
  3. Living alone
  4. Living in a large house but everyone’s busy
  5. Us, working hard for our families.
  6. People from all walks of life
  7. People who just needs just a bit of uplifting.

Thank you. Cause has shown us how great it is to be a Filipino. With all of you working hard since July 16. Since Eat Bulaga has started. That magic is still there. No wonder my mom, my late grandmother and all my Uncles and Aunts loves this show. I pray that you’ll have more power, strength and creative ideas to cater the demands of us, your loving audience. And to Maine and Richard, enough na yung you have each other’s back. Whatever you have right now, cherish it. You both deserve it.

God bless you all more!

What I wanted to say to you

Hi Eat Bulaga,

I am simple fan of AlDub. First, congratulations on the million million tweets and ratings you have been receiving. You said it was unexpected. You said it was “Aldub-vine Intervention”. And, I believe that. I strongly believe that. I am not a fan of Filipino movies or shows. Only few have really caught my attention. Ang astig nating mga Pilipino. Ang tataba ng utak natin eh. Matatalino ang comedians ng Eat Bulaga! And I am amazed on how you kept your audience for 36 years. And yung hosts nyo are one of the best hosts I have ever seen as well. Di nagbubuckle. Madaling magadjust kapag may aberya. At hindi halata kapag nagkakamali. Ginagawa pang nakakatawa. Ang galing diba! Tapos, bigla pang nadagdagan. Ang Kalyeserye na hanggang ngayon hindi ko maexplain bakit hooked na hooked ako. Isa akong babaeng nagtatrabaho sa Makati na nanahimik sa mundo ko. And then all of a sudden this phenomenon came. I was skeptic at first. But when all your sisters, brother, mother and roommate loves it, why not try? I love all the characters. I love the story. I love that everyday I wait for 9pm to hit the replay button since I can’t watch it live. I love that I drag my boyfriend every Saturday just to I can go home early and watch it live with my family. I loved that its making me and my mother closer because we talk about it almost nonstop.

But, though I am a fan. I can’t help but be scared for both Alden and Maine. I know they are just characters to the story. I am scared that both their hearts and their well being are being too exposed. Don’t get me wrong. Blessing yung pagkakatambal nila. Because of Kalyeserye it launched something great to both of them. Biruin mo, sa simpleng crush lang ni Maine kay Alden. It launched a phenomenon that even us, millennials, are beyond hooked and smitten by it. Ang sarap mainlove. Ang sarap sundan nung storya nila. And I am also one of the million fans that wants them to be together. Isa din ako sa sobrang kaadikan every move, every tweet and every sinusulat nila sa fansigns nila eh inaanalyze. And syempre, may mga times talaga na naapektuhan ako kapag hindi nasasatisfy yung fan urges ko. Yung tipong, nagpunta ako sa broadway para lang masaksihan sya ng live.

Di kasi to tulad ng movies na may script. Alam mo na ang mangyayari sa dulo. Parang ito, open ending na its making all of us go gaga over thinking it too much. Too much reality na naghalo sa fantasy. Haha. I couldn’t even explain why I am this much addicted to it. But I loved it! It showcased how great us Filipinos are. And how beautiful the new generation are today. Lalo na yung mga arts at mga songs. Sobrang gaganda.

Kung ano man ang maging ending ng Kalyeserye, at ni Maine at Alden. I just really hope we’ll all learn from all of this. And I am still hoping they will end up together 🙂 Parang DongYan lang. They’re both a blessing to each other and a Saving grace to Eat Bulaga. I commend as well the boldness in creating something that bridged both National TV and social media. And all ages are hooked!

To summarize all my rumblings, I am really praying for them. Si Lord naman ang nagorchestrate nito. So I really pray for wisdom sa mga writers, sa mga actors. And specially sa heart ni Maine at ni Alden. They’re both prayerful naman and knows God. Sabi nga ni Alden, what’s bound to happen will find its way. Maybe its not today. Not tomorrow. Or the next weeks that Kalyeserye will be played. But one things for sure, alam ni God ginagawa Nya kaya nangyari tong phenomenon na to. So why don’t we just enjoy the show and hope for the best diba? That way good vibes lang ang nasspread natin ika nga. 🙂 God bless you all!

The Error In The Ways Of A Captured Fandom

I am too Sir Vilo. 😦

theomelettestation

Much has been said in the comments section of my blog last Sunday and it has been a torment for me trying my hardest to moderate. Sleep is a word whose meaning I no longer remember, worse, I get to read the ghastliest point of views that will never see the light of day, at least not on my little piece of web space. But then again, I lost my right to complain the moment I pressed that publish button.

Just to cool our raging passions a little bit, let me put my rational thinking and objective hat on and forget for a few minutes that I am a fan.

So, how did we actually get here?

The truth is, this is reality TV at its finest. This is not your usual, run-of-the-mill telenovela that are fully scripted even up to the color of the socks that a character is…

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